253. Why You Still Can't Delegate Even Though You're Burnt Out (Part 1)
Delegation isn't usually a systems problem.
Most people already know what they could hand off. They've thought about hiring. They've considered asking for help. They've downloaded the planner, created the SOP, or promised themselves they'll stop carrying so much.
Yet somehow, everything ends up back on their plate.
In this strategic journaling episode, we're exploring what makes letting go so difficult, even when the workload is unsustainable. Because the thing that's keeping you overwhelmed isn't always a lack of support. Sometimes it's a belief that makes doing more feel safer than letting go.
Through a series of journaling prompts, you'll uncover what's keeping you stuck in the cycle of over-responsibility and begin identifying the deeper reason delegation feels so hard.
Journal Prompts:
- What are you currently doing yourself, even though someone else could handle it? How does keeping it on your plate make you feel?
- Why haven't you handed it off yet? What's the real reason?
- What do you think you need in order to start delegating, or what are you already trying to help yourself trust and let go?
- Even though doing everything yourself leaves you exhausted, burnt out, and overwhelmed, how might it also be keeping you safe?
A question to sit with after this episode:
How has the belief underneath your need to do everything been shaping the way you work, lead, and show up in your life?
Work with me:
- The Leaders Table: https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table
- Breakthrough Intensive: You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough
- Exhale Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me
Transcript
Hello, hello. Welcome to Beyond Awareness. Today is our strategic journaling episode, and this is inspired by a workshop that I almost did earlier this year, but then we bumped it out for a couple months due to attendance and what was working for people's schedules. And then eventually I created the leaders table. And we never followed through on this workshop. It almost got blended into
The leaders table is part of it. And this past Tuesday, the topic that we were talking about was hiring and building a team, like delegating, outsourcing, letting go. So it really applied to both business owners as well as executives and directors and you know, women who are in the corporate world. And in that frame of mind, I was thinking, I have journal prompts on this.
And so that's what I'm going to walk you through today is the journal prompts that I came up with to help with those things and specifically help you uncover why it's so hard to delegate and outsource, even though you so badly want to, and you're already stretched for time, yet you're still doing these things. So that's what we're going to get into today. And then next Thursday, we're going to take it one step further.
To help you not only become aware of the why, but actually start to work through it and chip away at not doing it anymore. So it's a two-part series for journaling. And as always, with these episodes, if you are driving or doing dishes or laundry while listening, you can of course just think through these prompts. I do encourage you to c save this episode and come back to the show notes if you're thinking through them. But honestly, even if you're
Writing with me today because they are deep. And I think you might need more time to journal than just the time that I allot you during the breaks in between each prompt. So this is gonna be a juicy one. I think you're gonna love it if you can already relate to the title and what I've shared so far. So let's dive on in. Prompt number one. Think about something or all the things that you're currently doing yourself.
Sam - Clarity Coach (:Even though you know that someone else could handle it. What is it or what are the things? And then how is it making you feel by keeping it on your plate?
Sam - Clarity Coach (:Prompt two, what is the reason that you are doing it? Why haven't you handed it off yet? And really try to think of the real reason. A couple options is you might be thinking they do things different than you, and you'd rather have it done your way. It's faster if you do it. You don't have the specific support that you need, like maybe you have to do it.
you don't trust somebody else to do it right or you'll have to redo the work their work. So what comes up for you when you think of why you specifically have to be the one to be doing it right now? Why haven't you handed it off yet?
Sam - Clarity Coach (:Prompt three. What do you think you need in order to start delegating? Or what are you already currently implementing to help you with trusting or delegating your workload, all that's on your plate? So it might be another system, SOPs, a new training, new planner, a time blocking app, a new hire, more time.
So whatever it is, what are the the things that you think you need or you're already trying in order to delegate or trust more people to help you with your workload?
Sam - Clarity Coach (:This is kind of not a separate prompt. So this is kind of just chime in before prompt four. After you've had a couple seconds to just jot down a couple bullet points of those things, just quickly ask yourself: are those things working? So do you follow the time blocking or do you ignore the notifications that you set up for yourself? Do you write those SOPs or do you push it off to the next day?
Do you check your emails at 10 PM still or have you actually stopped doing that? Do you have a fear of not being available to your team or clients? And maybe that's why you're still available, even though you have already delegated.
Sam - Clarity Coach (:Okay, great. So by now we know that you are likely already feeling burnt out and you want to delegate, right? And you wrote down all the things that you're feeling from all of the work on your plate. And you also jotted down if you did delegate, what would happen? And to try to help you to delegate and to trust other people, you wrote down the things that you're trying and
Which of those things actually are working, like you are following through on them, which of them are not working, you're not following through on them, and also what you're going to try. And of all of those, some might apply, might not, based on what's coming up for you. So you know the problem, you know solutions, you're aware. That's my whole methodology for this whole prod podcast and my work. You are aware.
And you're smart and you're confident and you know how to get shit done. The thing is, is that we don't follow through all the time on your solutions or if solutions aren't working normally. And that is because, well, let me back up. It's not because you're not disciplined. You definitely are disciplined. You're definitely motivated. And it's also not because of time management, even though a lot of people think that they just need more time or they need better time management.
What it is is because there's a part of you that feels safe in your current circumstances. And that safety points us directly, beautifully, to the root belief that's keeping you stuck not delegating, stuck doing all the things, even though you could delegate, or say you're the type of person that truly has to do it all, air quotes.
Has to do it all because you don't have a team right now or you don't have support. But what's stopping you from hiring? If it's money, what's stopping you from finding free labor? What's stopping you from getting the support that you need, right? So we have to uncover that safety. And just to put it in a different way, even though not delegating and having the workload and responsibilities that you have on your plate right now.
Sam - Clarity Coach (:feels heavy, feels like a huge mental load some days. And it's keeping you exhausted and burnt out and overwhelmed. It's also keeping you safe somehow. So this final prompt, prompt four, is how is it keeping you safe? And I'll share some ideas and then I'm gonna hand it over to you to process and think about what comes up and apply it to yourself. Maybe
It's keeping you safe. Maybe not delegating is keeping you safe because it keeps you in control of your public image. So think beyond I'm a control freak because no, you're not. What are you in control of by doing that? Maybe you're in control of your marriage or in control of your public image. Maybe you feel like relaxing would be dropping the ball. Maybe it's keeping you safe because you it makes you feel needed.
Especially if nothing bad happens by trusting and delegating and whatnot, but your employees are coming to you for questions, being needed and doing the thing and helping, even though you don't need to, being needed means being valuable, in your opinion. It means you're even more worthy. It means they see you as a leader. So of course you're going to keep doing that when let's flip it, if they don't come to you and ask for things.
You're not needed. You're not valuable. You're not worthy. You're not seen as a leader. Right. So you could always flip it. Sometimes that's an easier one. Also, maybe it's keeping you safe because doing more makes you feel responsible. Right. I have to always think about these tasks in order to be successful or earn my success, even if I'm not the one doing it.
But what would happen if I don't think of it? That's scary. If you miss something. So doing all the things makes you feel responsible. And my last example is if I have to keep working just as hard as I did to get to where I am now, then that means I'm good. I'm solid. I'm gonna keep earning the same money or the same accolades or whatever. And I can never slow down or work less than those around me.
Sam - Clarity Coach (:Or the those that I hire, I have to keep hustling because that's what I did to get here. And if I change that, that's scary. That's unsafe. Right? That's when you might lose your edge or you'll be viewed as incompetent. You might be a bad boss, all the things, right? So those are just a couple examples. I'll say the prompt again. The prompt is even though not.
delegating and splitting your work and giving up some of your work and letting go is keeping you exhausted, burnt out, and overwhelmed. It's also keeping you safe. So how is doing more keeping you safe?
Sam - Clarity Coach (:I have another version of that.
it just adds on to that. So how is doing more keeping you safe? Which one of those examples resonates most for you? Or what's your version of this belief in your words? Sit in this for a moment. What comes up when you think of how this belief has been impacting your life and where it came from?
Sam - Clarity Coach (:Amazing work today. I told you this was going to be juicy and deep. And this is why what you just uncovered is the reason why you are never finished with your to-do list. It is the reason why you are always busy, even though you could ask for help. It's the reason why when people do offer help.
You say, no, I can just do it. I can do it faster. I can do it. Well, I mean, you don't tell them that, but you're thinking, I can do it faster. I can do it better. I don't want to have to redo your work, right? It's a thing that is keeping you where you are instead of the type of woman who is able to work on those high-level projects and zoom out and get out of the trenches and on to what you actually want to do in your business and in your career.
Again, tune into next Thursday's journaling prompts because we've got just two, maybe three if I expand on them, that will help you go just one step further of now you know the why, which is super powerful. But we're gonna go take that why and start questioning it so that you can start to dismantle it and release its grip and actually start delegating without guilt or that fear that is gripping pretty tightly right now.
Thank you again for tuning in today. Again, I'm so proud of you. And I will see you next Tuesday for a full episode and next Thursday to dig more into this topic.
