273. Journal With Me: Why You Keep Doing Things You Don't Want to Do
You know you don't want to keep doing it, but somehow you keep doing the same thing anyway.
Maybe you keep overcommitting. Maybe you push through when you need to stop. Maybe asking for help still feels harder than doing everything yourself. You know the pattern, but knowing hasn't been enough to change it.
Because sometimes the thing we keep trying to change is also the thing that once helped us feel safe. And when we understand what that pattern has been doing for us, we can start to loosen its grip instead of just trying to force ourselves to stop.
Grab your journal and work through these prompts with me.
Journal Prompts
- Think about a pattern that you keep repeating. Something you do automatically, even when you don't want to. Maybe it's overcommitting, not asking for help, or pushing through when you should stop. Just name it. Don't explain it yet.
- How much mental energy does this pattern cost you on a daily basis? Think beyond the actual doing of it. Think about the mental load of managing it, justifying it, thinking about it, and recovering from it. Where does it show up most? What does it take from you?
- Now get curious, not critical, about where this started. As far back as you can remember, what were you afraid would happen if you didn't do this? At some point, this pattern made sense. It may have helped you feel safe.
- Finish this sentence without overthinking it: I've been operating like my worth depends on.......Now read your answer back to yourself. Does that feel true? Has it always felt true?
- What would actually be different in your day, your body, your energy, your nervous system, or your relationships if that belief loosened its grip just a little? What would you do differently tomorrow? How would you move differently?
- What's one thing you can do tomorrow or this week that's the opposite of that old pattern? Not a 180. Not a grand gesture. Just one small moment where you choose differently. Write it down like you're making a commitment to yourself.
You took something that was happening automatically and made it visible. You traced it back to the belief underneath it. And now you have a chance to choose differently, even if it's just in one small moment.
Work with me:
- Lighter: finally release the weight attached to your plate www.samanthapenkoff.com/lighter
- The Leaders Table: https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table
- Breakthrough Intensive: You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough
- Exhale Private Coaching: For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me
Transcript
Welcome back to Beyond Awareness. Today's strategic journaling episode is a companion episode to Tuesday's conversation with Holly Bytel. And that was all about finding the invisible stories or agreements that we tell ourselves that are actually sabotaging us and then re-narrating them so that we can actually have clarity and purpose in our lives. It was an awesome conversation. So.
Go back and listen to that if you'd like. But today we're actually journaling through that. And before we get into that, Holly said something that I want to come back to because I think that it's really the bridge between her work and mine. She said that journaling, the way that I use journaling since she actually downloaded my Calm Mind Blueprint, is one of the ways that you keep returning to a memory and you keep making it pliable.
malleable and keep assigning new meaning to it until your brain actually builds new pathways. Those were her words, not mine, and it's backed by neuroscience. And I did know that the five prompts inside my Calm Mind Blueprint are backed by neuroscience. But anyways, what Holly does is help you name the story and re-narrate it. What I do is give you the daily practice and tools
to actually make it stick and to create a new belief. And you can think of it this way, like Holly helps you find the root, which is 100 % needed. And then journaling is how you water what grows in its place. Like you wanna dig up that root if it's not a healthy root and then plant a new seed and water it. And you gotta keep coming back to that, right? So today we are doing that work.
And let's dive right into the prompts. And as always, the prompts will be in the show notes for you to come back to at any point in time.
Prompt number one. Think about a pattern that you keep repeating. This is something that you do automatically, even when you don't want to. Maybe it's over committing, not asking for help, pushing through when you should stop. So just name it and don't explain it yet. Just write it down.
Prompt two, how much mental energy does this pattern cost you on a daily basis? Not just the doing of it, but the mental load of managing it, of justifying it, thinking about it, and or recovering from it. And also think about where does it show up most and what does it take from you? Again, thinking of the managing, justifying, recovering that mental.
and emotional energy that it takes.
Prompt three, this is where we get curious, not critical. Okay? So get curious about where this started. Maybe it was last year when you first got into your relationship that you're in now, or even when you were six years old. You didn't wake up one day and decide to be this way, decide to be an overachiever. At some point, this pattern made complete sense and it made you feel safe.
So back then, as far back as you can think, what were you afraid would happen if you didn't do it, if you didn't do this pattern?
prompt for. Finish this sentence without overthinking it. I've been operating like my worth depends on
So finish that and then read it back and ask yourself, does that feel true? And has it always felt true? The answer might be yes, it might be no.
Prompt five, what would actually be different in your day and maybe in your body, in your energy, in your nervous system, in your relationships if that belief loosened its grip just a little bit, not disappeared completely, it just loosened. What would you do differently tomorrow or how would you move differently tomorrow?
And finally, prompt six. What's one thing that you can do this week or tomorrow that's the opposite of that old pattern? Even just a small thing in a small way. So not a 180, not a grand gesture, but just one moment where you choose differently. Write it down like you are making a commitment to yourself.
Amazing job. That is your full journal entry for today, and I want you to notice something. You just did what Holly was talking about. You made the invisible visible. And quite literally, you wrote it down on a piece of paper or in the notes of your phone or Google Docs. You gave your brain something new to work with. And remember, too, that awareness is the first step, but it was never
meant to be the last one. And that's the whole point of this podcast. We don't just name the thing and move on. You're already good at that. That's why this podcast is beyond awareness. You're already aware. We go back to it. We journal through it. We keep returning to it until our brain and our body are finally on the same page and we feel safe with a new belief. Because right now we're aware, but we keep cycling.
And you just learned the process to be aware and to find a new path, a new neural pathway to feel safe thinking and believing in doing something different. And that's how change works. That is quote unquote, the work when people talk about that. So truly great job today. And if a lot came up for you and you're realizing that maybe your mental load or overwhelm or all the things that you've been carrying runs deeper than
your to-do list, take that as a sign to just come back to strategic journaling, not just Pinterest prompts, but what's going on for you in your brain and in your body. And the Calm Mind Blueprint is the free resource that I created for that, for you, for this exact moment. It's the starting point for clearing mental clutter and overwhelm so that you can actually hear yourself think.
and slow down and it's truly just five to 15 minutes a day. So link for that is in the show notes. Save this episode, share it with the woman and friend in your life who's been pushing through on autopilot and she doesn't even know it yet. I feel like she would really benefit from this episode. Again, prompts are in the show notes as I mentioned earlier, come back to them anytime that you need and I will see you next Tuesday.
