263. Journal With Me: Peace Isn't Something You Earn
The hardest part isn't always knowing how you want to feel. It's believing you're allowed to feel that way before everything is finished.
Peace can seem like something you have to earn. Once the work is done. Once the house is clean. Once everyone else is okay. Until then, your mind keeps searching for the next thing that needs your attention.
This journal entry invites you to slow down and notice the beliefs sitting underneath that pattern. The ones convincing you that letting go of control, responsibility, or productivity would somehow make you less capable or less like yourself. Because often it's not your to do list keeping you stuck. It's what you've attached your sense of safety and identity to.
If you've been waiting for permission to feel settled before life feels lighter, this is your space to begin questioning why.
Journal Prompts
- What feeling would you most like to experience every day? Choose one specific word that goes beyond happy or good.
- When you imagine moving through your day feeling that way, what comes up? Does it feel possible, unrealistic, irresponsible, or too good to be true? What beliefs or responsibilities seem to stand in the way?
- What do you believe you would have to give up in order to feel that way?
- Is that belief actually true? If it is, what would the impact really be? If it isn't, what else could be true instead?
- What would become possible if you could access that feeling every day?
The goal isn't to carry less. It's to carry your life differently, so peace no longer depends on whether everything gets done.
Work with me:
- Lighter: A 12-Week Live Experience for the woman who has it handled. The one everyone leans on... at work, at home, everywhere.
- The Leaders Table: https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table
- Breakthrough Intensive: You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough
- Exhale Private Coaching: For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me
Transcript
Hello, welcome to Beyond Awareness. Last Thursday, we journaled through productivity and how a lot of us stay busy not just to be productive and to get more done and to feel like we did enough, but to avoid a certain feeling. And you identified what feeling you may be avoiding as well. I ended last week's episode suggesting that.
Being productive and doing more is not how we will feel like we get to settle down for the night and to finally rest. Instead, we could have the busiest of days and still be at peace and feel settled amongst the chaos. And that's kind of my story. In a nutshell, when I first became a single mom when my son was 10 months old, I think I looked
Capable and like I was doing well, maybe not thriving, but doing well from the outside. But I was drowning on the inside. Every day was a huge struggle mentally and emotionally. And I was getting very used to having 100% responsibility 247. I was working through the weight of having all of the things on my plate.
I was also working through the lack of recognition and validation of all that I was doing and understanding what my needs were and how to get them met when it was only me. And eventually my to-do list never changed, but I changed how I was carrying everything and how it felt throughout the day. I wasn't going about my days feeling stressed about all that I had to do anymore.
Trying to squeeze in one more thing when my son went to bed. But I was able to actually be present and like really there with him on the floor when we were playing with Transformers. I was able to actually watch a show with him at the end of the night instead of also me being on my laptop trying to squeeze in some more work. I was able to leave work early, like actually when I had planned, not keep snoozing my leave work alarm. And
Get to his school parade with enough time to see a huge smile on his face, and he was waving at me like crazy because I had made it there. I wasn't five minutes late hoping that he didn't notice. And so that's what I'm going to help you start to create today. So grab your pen or open Google Docs, the notes app on your phone, whatever it might be, and let's dive in.
Prompt number one. If you could feel
Any feeling in the world, how would you want to feel on a daily basis? Not just when you're on vacation, but every day. And also don't just say happy or good. Think of the real word. Maybe peaceful, light, at ease, grounded, lucky. What word do you want to feel every day?
Prompt two. When you picture yourself feeling this way and going about your workday, does it feel possible for you? Does it feel irresponsible? Does it feel too good to be true? And also, what feelings, beliefs, or tasks would get in the way of this desired feeling?
Prompt three, what do you believe you would have to give up, like routines, habits, or responsibilities, in order to feel this way? Maybe I'd have to give up control or I'd have to give up sleeping in so that I could get more done.
Prompt for, is it true that you'd have to give up those things? And if yes, what is the impact of that? So, with the examples that I gave, let's use control. Giving up control can feel hard, but if it means that you would be more at peace, would it be worth it? And then sleeping in, would you really have to give up sleeping in to get more done or at all?
Or could you wake up at the same time and accomplish the same or very similar amounts that day? So is it true that you'd have to give up those things? And if yes, what's the impact?
The reason that it is so hard to achieve what we want, whether that be less overwhelm or even feeling more peace, is because we are attached to what we're gaining from.
What we are doing right now, all of our habits and behaviors and the benefits from it. Like if you're getting promotions at work or if your kids love you and are saying, my gosh, I have the best mom ever right now. Right? We're we're we're benefiting from it. And we're afraid of what we might have to give up without it. What you wrote down from prompt three is the thing or things that are subconsciously.
Feeling so strongly attached to your truth, to your core. Without those things, you wouldn't be the same person. And if you're not the same person, like if you're not as controlling, if you're not as much as a helicopter parent, even if you don't love that about yourself, but it's what you know, if you're not watching what you eat as closely as you do now, it's scary because it's the unknown.
And you don't know what replaces it yet. So really leaning into prompt three and questioning it in prompt four is doing the work, challenging your beliefs to loosen the grip that I have to be productive so that I can rest and be present no longer is your full truth. So I'll leave that there and congratulate you on doing the work there. But we'll end with prompt five.
What would open up for you when you are able to access your ideal feeling daily? What would you be able to do or do differently if you felt grounded, peaceful, or lucky or whatever your feeling is every day?
Amazing job. If what came up for you today feels like something you want to keep working on, that's literally what lighter is. It's my new 12-week experience starting this September. And it's built entirely around this. It's learning to carry your life differently, not carrying any less of it. Because I know it's not realistic to always change your to-do list. We have responsibilities.
But there is a way to change how we feel about it and to end your day with a quiet mind and a full body feeling of I did enough, even on the days that your list isn't done. Like being able to finish work, leave work at 5 p.m., even with things undone, more to do the next day, but feeling accomplished and not still mentally planning, okay, this is what's left for tomorrow.
So you will feel lighter, rejuvenated, relieved, and ready to be present with your family and with a quiet mind and mental capacity left for you and for others. Doors are open now. And when you join this week, you will get instant access to my Clear Your Mental Load workshop and the corresponding or complimentary toolkit. It's a 90-minute session that starts this work essentially with you right now.
So the link is in the show notes if you are interested. I would love to have you in there with me. It is capped at twelve to fifteen women. We'll see once it starts filling up. So I'll see you in there. Thank you for tuning in this week, and I will see you next week.
